Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Did we really Legislatively Assemble here for these jokes?


The SPEAKER: I am advised that yesterday the Minister for Finance, Minister for Infrastructure, Minister for Regulatory Reform, and Minister for Ports and Waterways became the father of a baby girl. I am told that Angelica Tripodi was a healthy 3.6 kilograms at birth and that she and her mother, Maria, are both doing well. I am sure the House will join with me in congratulating the Minister on the new addition to his family.

Mr Chris Hartcher: And his wife, who did all the hard work!

The SPEAKER: That is a very good interjection.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Parliamentary profoundness - NSW Hansard once more

There is a deep truth here.

Mr Ian Cohen: "Dr Chopra alerted me to the fact that the food that Australia exports to the European Union has to conform to much higher standards than our own, so we produce two lots of food: food that is too good for Australians and food that is not good enough for Europeans".

Indeed. Thank you Ian.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Best of Hansard LC Edition 4 June

Ah, love across the barricades....

Ms Lee Rhiannon: I lived on a dairy farm too. You live at Redfern.

The Hon. DUNCAN GAY: I acknowledge for the record that Ms Lee Rhiannon has dairy farming in her history. There we were in the negotiating room. She has the belief that intensive agriculture should not go ahead and I am of the view that we should have proper intensive agriculture. She has the belief that there should not be mining anywhere in the State and I hold the belief that mining is an important part of the State and should be included.

Reverend the Hon. Dr Gordon Moyes: You make a lovely couple.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Hansard - Identifying possible hyperbole

Re: The Inner West Busway:

12 May 2009, Legislative Council

The Hon. HELEN WESTWOOD [2.52 p.m.]: This project is possibly the most transparent in the history of the Government. When I say "the history of the Government" I am talking as far back as the ancient Greeks!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Best of Hansard - Pynchonesque Incidents

Can anyone actually work out what is going on here? I am starting to think it is some kind of code used by our political overlords to conceal their evil plans. Or perhaps they are all slightly mad? The following discussion occurred in the context of a bill changing regulations in the racing industry on 7 May 09.

Mr PAUL GIBSON: Racing is a great panacea. Looking back at the history of racing—and I was not born then; I am not that old—during the Depression, for example, there were the largest crowds ever on racetracks anywhere. People went to the racetracks not only to put a few bob on and try to back a winner; they went there with the hope of forgetting the problems of the day. They went to the track because it was fairly cheap entertainment. It was a very important part of the panacea process that followed on from the Depression and the war. I first started looking at and wondering about racing when I was a young boy in Young.

Mr Kevin Greene: Is that Lambing Flat?

The boy from Young: "I come from Young, a pretty town up near the Riverina. They grow their cherries by the pound and sell them for a deener." I have never forgotten that. In my early years in Young there was a fellow by the name of Ernie Batnich, who had a cherry orchard. Ernie had a greyhound called Happy Banquet. Happy Banquet was a happy banquet to a lot of people in Young. Not only did he win on the country tracks—

Mr George Souris: They ate it.

Mr PAUL GIBSON: No, they didn't eat it; he ate them. They brought Happy Banquet to Sydney and it was one of the best greyhounds to race in this nation. I have never forgotten it. After that Ernie's mate had a dog called Macaroona. I will never forget Macaroona either—one of the fastest dogs this nation has ever laid eyes on.

Mr Peter Draper: What about Chief Havoc?

Mr PAUL GIBSON: Yes, Chief Havoc. There have been a lot of them. At the moment we have a horse called Takeover Tiger and it has won over $6 million in prize money. Joe Jaknic is the owner-trainer of it. He bought the horse for virtually nothing.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

More moments from Hansard - NOM

Notices of Motion can not only be abbreviated to NOM. And they are even more funny:

297 Mr AMERY to move—

That this House:

(1) Notes the victory of English Championship side, Burnley, over Premiership side Arsenal in the

quarter final of the Carling Cup.

(2) Notes that this upset win was the third win against a Premiership side by the Burnley team in this


(3) Notes that this result sends a message to the New South Wales Opposition that being odds on

favourite does not guarantee future success.

(Notice given 4 December 2008)

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Inside jokes #2

Enjoy the following email exchange from 09 April regarding comments on News.com.au posts (very shallow end of the gene pool kind of stuff):

Why not set BOTH long term and short term interest rate to 0%??? I mean,
seriously, this would mean cheaper borrowing for EVERYONE!!


I don't know, I'm not very good with numbers as at school I was taught
using the whole language approach by politically-correct postmodernists.


The interest rate cut which is not one (per cent).