Trials and flights

After 5 years of trying to ignore the case & passing the buck back to the American government David Hicks is tantalizingly close to having a trial date set. There's a sense that after 5 years the only really positive outcome would have been to bring him back home but nevertheless, a trial is a huge step in the right direction.

Alexander Downer seems to have changed his tune on the urgency of the trials too:

"All right, the Supreme Court made its decision earlier this year, but we do want the charges to be brought forward as quickly as possible and we do not want any more unnecessary delay in relation to this case."

Note the word "unnecessary"..

It appears that he has just admitted that the US and Australia have been faffing around and allowing the unlawful combatants in Guantanamo to be deprived of their right to a speedy trial for NO GOOD REASON. Surely not.

Cultural Insensitivity

I can't believe that everyone forgot Sinterklaas and there were no sweeties in my shoes this morning. I even left out my nicest stilettos....

Bond Girls

The latest Bond movie has been lauded for it's uncharacteristically masculine and real lead but it's other charms are of course the real draw card. The knee-quakingly stunning Caterina Murino and the strikingly chameleonic Eva Green are a wonderful demonstration of the allure of the brunette. We dark haired lasses seem to be slowly claiming ground on the everpresent blondes in Bond movies, the rest of the world will surely be a walk in the park.

And on that note, i think it's time to go a couple of shades darker.

Temptation

The Dendrobium Margaret Thatcher:





Must really add Singapore to that new itinerary..

Still in the sticks is Hicks

From the latest

Bulletin

:

On Wednesday, the US Defense Department announced that three more former "enemy combatants" - an Algerian, an Egyptian and an Uzbeki - had been released and sent to Albania. The three men, now classified "No Longer Enemy Combatants", were sent to Albania because the US could not guarantee their safety if they were returned to their countries of origin.

This seems rather akin to getting Rodney King-ed by the filth and then them gently protect your forehead as they place you into their Black Mariah.

After years in illegal detention enjoying hospitable sleep deprivation and other non-torture interrogation methods now we object to them possibly being deprived of their rights if we returned them? Marvellous.

They are now "No Longer Enemy Combatants"; this was just a phase.
"Insurgent Until Graduation" if you will......

Impending Doom

Grey hair number three.

Call in the marines/Dr Freud/Vidal Sassoon etc.

Please advise.

The hidden humour of economics

cvm: I'm drunk on power/economic liberalism .

I can't believe i just wrote this:
"Aid is approached as something which has a genuinely benevolent thrust "

Coming soon to a videostore near you: Jeff Stryker vs. The World Bank.


rheiner: JE LOVE IT.

'thrust'

"My that's an impressive austerity package"

Defining leisure

The 80s gave so many wonderful things but the best of these was windsurfing. When will this brave new century find it's leisure activity of choice?


Please do not say:
1. Croquet : Not ironic thank you very much. It never was. Not even in Heathers.

2. Lawn bowls : those poor old dears who their whole lives have wanted some qt on the greens are now faced with hilariously intoxicated young adults. Puhlease.

3. Tenpin bowling : i want this to be the answer but it never is.

Cynicism

These SMH pictures of the possible effects of water level rises from global warming
present an interesting opportunity.


Bear with me.



If we figure out where the water levels will get to (assuming high/long term increases in sea levels as a result of the melting of the polar caps) we can commence buyingproperties on the soon-to-be-seaside et voila! A waterfront property on the new Sydney Harbour for the price of a Penrith terrace...

My Last North Korea Rant

Before we respond to North Korea, let's look hard at humanitarian implications of sanctions against one of the most impoverished regimes in our area.

Regardless of what we might think about Kim Jong-il having nuclear weapons, surely we should go to the bargaining table without economic crimes hanging over our heads. This test only destabilises the region if we let it.


* I promise to stop talking about lil' Kim and his big bombs now.

The Little Dictator Who Could

As one Kim loses pounds the other tests kilotons.

Softly softly world...

NPT = NFI

It looks like more changes to Australian laws are on the way as a result of pressure from other countries ("India forces PM's hand on uranium", September 25).

Banning sales of uranium to countries that have not signed the nuclear non-proliferation treaty is not an exercise in political correctness but an exercise in responsible global trading in what is acknowledged as a potentially dangerous substance. Australia owes it to this region to preserve these safeguards by remaining a strong proponent of safe and regulated trade.

Claudia Marckx

Infiltration

Somehow they have done it. They have infiltrated the Attorney General Phillip "hardass" Ruddock's office. In prepation for the APEC summit security exercises will be conducted around Sydney in an anti-terrorism exercise called:

"Blue Luminary".

What the ferret?

Is that how we're going to show the terrorists who *really* is the boss? Googling Blue Luminary brings up pictures of candles and pottery... the only possible explanation is the infiltration of a sinister gay secret society*. Or someone's nana hacked in to the media release. Either way, doilies at the ready Sydney!


* In my imagination they have all the creepiness of the Exclusive Brethren with the fashion sense of Chloe Sevigny and the superior stealth of the ninja.

Down in a blaze of Khaki

Today the man who chased the giant lizards of the world is being memorialized up north in his zoo. Now is not the time for barbs (oops) or unprovoked attacks (oops again) but for solemn contemplation. The SMH has outdone itself by presumably dragging the work experience kid in to write the morning article about it and including this line:

"Boxer Kostya Tszyu said he was "big sad" and "there should be lots of tears", and Lisa Curry Kenny"

Kostya's interesting choice of adjectives aside, it's hard to see what Lisa Curry Kenny could add to the day unless she were delegated to bring the Uncle Tobys Muesli Bars.

Then again, Howards speechwriter must have been off work too. Howard opined that Irwin "had that quality of being genuine, of being authentic" he was also "direct, "genuine", "Australian", "love his country". We get it already John; the man was everything that we Shiraz sipping inner city Lefties should aspire to. I'm wearing Khaki underwear today. It's a start John. I hope you like them.

Digging the diggery values

The antics of Australian troops in Iraq, as revealed in some rather distasteful videos on YouTube are "Digger Humour gone Wrong"
Let it be noted that this material will be in the exam..

Wandering lustily

Friday afternoon gives this strange urge to wander back to Singapore. Not for the absent father but for this:

If Jeanette was in there; probably another 500 votes..

From the SMH: “The Prime Minster, John Howard, said yesterday that he constantly feared an attacks at a sporting event, on a building or an attack using an aircraft. He often lookd at Sydney’s towering office blocks while on his morning walk and contemplated the consequences” One suspects that here that “the consequences” means “how this would help him in the next election”.

Blatant cynicism aside, surely it’s a little concerning that John Howard is using his morning exercise as the perfect time to consider attacks on or mass deaths of Australians? I thought we were promised a “relaxed and comfortable” Australia… the big boss of the whole shebang is electorally secure and has complete senate control, and yet he still has armageddon dreams. Reminds me of this moment in American history: “The other day, Secretary of State Colin Powell was reminded that his boss is in bed by ten and sleeps like a baby. Powell reportedly replied, "I sleep like a baby, too—every two hours I wake up screaming."

Part of me is pleased that Howard is genuinely afraid of what is happening, perhaps this might make him more careful. Then again, that he deals with this fear by imagining the deaths of others in gruesome circumstances one is reminded more of a gawker than a samaritan.

Ezekiel

Bye snuffy.

We hope you're enjoying chasing bunnies under the giant wachine machine in the sky.

Uno sogno

I had a dream about an Orca* last night.

It came up out of the water ever so slowly and its face was getting closer and closer to mine. As it got closer my apprehension grew (that seal doco kept going through my head) and i tried to reason with myself that it wasn't actually dangerous and that i should hold my ground. When it got within a few centimetres of my face i looked at its mouth and nose and it looked uncannily like the muzzle of a giant black and white llama. I remarked as much to my dream companion and then promptly woke up**.

What could it mean?

Hint:

*Apparently dreaming about an orca signifies distrust and suspicious motives. A cynic might say that it's presence might have something to do with having a beer next to a pokie machine with an orca on it before bed. Then again, maybe my choice of the seat facing said machine was an expression of my own latent trust issues...

** Yes, i know my dreams are really low on narrative/actual events, i'm working on it

I'm not much of a joiner.

The time has come to join in.
Weekly meetings and so forth.

The GLRL lost me on the whole push towards relationship recognition when there are so many singles who arguably have it tougher. Uni lost me when i graduated. Impromptu activism became a little tricky with full time work and masters.

Weasel and i have talked this one over for some time and the Greens were looking like the likely lasses however my certainty levels are suffering a little and i must ponder it some more.


Greens

Pros
Politically rather close to where i'm at (or would like to be at)
Little chance of getting in office and therefore ability to remain idealistic/the conscience of parliament
Maybe important one day for BOP/swing
Membership for concession = 8$

Cons
Some dodgy deals in the past
Hippies (yes, this does actually bother me)


ALP

Pros
Relatively politically powerful
Organised
Less likelihood of hippies
If age brings a little conservatism will still probably fit in the ALP

Cons
Some well dodgy deals/policies incl. uranium, anti gay marriage, anti USU
Joining fee = 10$ concession + 20$ annual membership


Other options:

One Nation

Pros
No known dress code

Cons
Everything Else


The Australian Democrats

Pros
A party which endorses double-barreled surnames
Sounds like an American party

Cons
Excessive use of yellow, orange and green
Irrelevant

It seems too painfully humorous to suggest the Liberals. What's a girl to do?

Less than the sum of its parts

The Liberals latest bill is receiving a lot of flak from the opposition parties and more moderate (read: decent) members of their own faction. Mud slinging and hatchet jobs aside (for the record, calling Kim B. fat is not exactly news, in fact you might even be alienating the ever expanding "fat vote") let us consider the substantial thrust (ooh) of this bill. This is generally touted as something which:

"would excise the Australian mainland from the immigration zone"

Excising islands etc was a not entirely unexpected strategy used by a government who are desperately trying to suck in the borders of this continent-country to make the populace feel more comfortable. But excising the whole bloody thing? It smacks of the most concentrated kind of overkill. Not entirely unlike that kid in class when you were making paper snowflakes who cut and cut and cut and when it came time to open out ones magnificent creation he threw his angry confetti at the teacher. Or maybe that was just my primary school.

Also in the "so bad i can't stop" vein, i appear to have developed a slight SATC problem. eurovladd, this is entirely your fault.

EDIT (1400hrs): 78 votes to 62 and the legislation is passed. Lil' John, ankle tapping Australia one bill at a time, inspirational really.

The year my vote broke..

The story so far...

After 10 years of Liberal government in Australia the idealistic youth are looking for someone who might actually succeed in winning power at the next election and reversing at least some of the backwards steps we've taken in these past years. We see the imposing figure cut by Monsieur Kim of the ALP, we listen to the objections and interjections they level at the Liberals and we think... perhaps this just might work.


Little did we know that back in Canberra..

In todays SMH in an article about policy change and uranium a caucus spokeswoman said: "We can have a debate without a split" a wonderfully salient point that emphasises the importance of dissent and debate within a robust democracy or political party . She continues: "we can have an argument without damaging the Labor brand" Aaaargh! So close and then talking about branding? Please god no! Perhaps soon the ALP will cotton onto the hipness of viral marketing, now there's a campaign to ponder.

False Advertising

Smarties don't work :(

If it were a maths problem

In Lebanon so far:

406/451* deaths were Civilians. Therefore 45 combatants killed in 3 weeks or 15 combatants a week. If Israel needs another 2 weeks to destroy Hezbollah this would seem to suggest there are only around another 30 of them.

In Israel so far:

18/51** deaths were civilians. Therefore 33 Israeli soldiers have died. Including all of these deaths, at 17 a week if the stated aim is to completely annihilate Israel (population 6,352,117***) this will take another 373654 weeks or 7185 years.

Of course all of these figures are based on completely flawed assumptions such as constant death rates, non advancement in technologies, constant supply of both weapons and victims, stable intelligence levels etc etc. As such this is all a completely facetious exercise were it not for the fact that figures like "two weeks more" are so arbitrary as to be obscene.

*these numbers according to the SMH
**this number from the Israeli army statement 30/07/06
***this number from the CIA

A nice bit o' spin

Kudos to the ALP for finally coming up with a good line on Howards recent fruity economics:

"Labor's treasury spokesman, Wayne Swan, said it was the underlying, or core, inflation figure of 3 per cent that would force the Reserve Bank to lift interest rates when it met tomorrow.

The bank is almost certain to increase rates by at least 0.25 of a percentage point, and that has nothing to do with bananas, Mr Swan said. "It's certainly an attempt to straighten out his banana alibi," he said of Mr Howard's trip"

A banana alibi?

"Sorry the economy went to hell, i was too busy browsing pictures of the newly forbidden fruit on the internet..." Enjoy.

SMH Letter

I would be pleased to help Peter Costello in his quest for more little nippers in this country and, aged 25, now would be a wonderful time for me to start were it not for: a large HECS debt, job insecurity, the likelihood that it will take at least another 10 years before property in Sydney starts to look vaguely affordable, the extra 10 years needed to save for the child's education and so forth ("Costello hatches census-time challenge: procreate and cherish", July 25).

Sorry, Pete, could be a bit of a wait.

Claudia Marckx, Chippendale

After this stunning moment




it was only going to be a matter of time before once more Russians provided the "lighter" articles in the paper. Although the wonderful polka dancing of Yeltsin has still never been replicated Putin is doing his level best:

Russian President Vladimir Putin on Wednesday stopped on a walk through the Kremlin to speak to a young boy before lifting up the boy's shirt and kissing the astonished youth on his stomach.

He stopped and spoke to a young boy who appeared to be aged four or five and turned away shyly when asked his name.

"What is your name?" Putin asked, kneeling down in front of the fair-haired boy and holding him by the waist.

"Nikita," the clearly shocked boy answered, looking from side to side.

Putin then lifted the boy's shirt and kissed him on his stomach.

When questioned later Putin explains: "I tell you honestly, I just wanted to touch him like a kitten and that desire of mine ended in that act."

The Izvestia daily, which tracked down Nikita, discovered that he had refused to wash after that kiss.

"I just liked him and he liked me very much. I want to be president myself," the five-year-old told the paper. (Reuters)





Now, call me a freak but i kinda appreaciate a politician whimsical enough to pull off that line.. After the Clinton hugging Lewinsky photo that simply wouldn't stay out of the press rubbing the flesh with the plebs has been rather fraught. I like that Putin throws caution to the wind, that'll show the G8 that Russia really is ready for the world stage..

Hmmm, maybe not.

(The boy was called Nikita which is also the name of my savings account.. it's a sign perhaps?)

Lil' John being mean to Uncle Pete?

Short version:

A workmate summed this up rather well today, when reading the paper he deadpanned: "John Howard lying? I find that very hard to believe"

Long version:

cvm: Does anybody actually care if it's Howard or Costello? I know it's agreat way to split voters etc away from the Libs but really, a stinkbug byany other name is just as malodourous.

eurovladd: Well, your line was a little more poetic than my "same shit different outfits" but yes, ultimately I agree with you. Altho don't understand how all of this suddenly means Costello should be the one toresign. But yes, frankly, j'don't care. The only thing more annoying thatCostello vs. Howard is the Labor Party trying to look relevant by jumping upand down saying that the Liberal Party can no longer be trusted. Yeah, costhis is the thing that makes the "never-ever" Libs look untrustworthy. Please.

cvm: i think it was Costello's reference to something which happened in the "Past" that disqualified him as a potential front bencher.. i believe theparty line is still to deny existence of said.

History is: Adam and Eve, then James Cook, then yesterday/this morning.

Perhaps the ALP will realise that the public of Australia *know* that none of the political parties are to be trusted.. this is something we became(relaxed and) comfortable with quite a while ago

eurovladd: Yes, good point. Everyone bleats on about trust when we all KNOW that politicans can't be trusted. And for some reason this doesn't actually seem to bother Mr & Mrs Average Suburbanite. Der.

cvm: Trust in mistrust perhaps? And Monsieur Howard says that Postmodernismis irrelevant.. how else can one explain the attitude that elects peopleprecisely because they know exactly how they will mess up the country?

eurovladd: And then there is that moment where you hope that Howard staysleader of the Libs because I think a Liberal party lead by Costello is less likely to lose the next election. Oooh too many negatives. Dizzy.

cvm: I'm still in the "hope they all fall in a well" stage. But yes, agree Howard and another election may fall to voter fatigue. Although Costello does have that awful smirk...

Compulsory BB Commentary

I think it's amazing (especially with reality television) that the outcry is over the fact that this was televised rather than that it happens in the world full stop. If a sexual assault occurs and it's not on a television can anyone still hear it?

Jonestown

In Today's SMH: A fellow broadcaster and longstanding Jones critic, Mike Carlton, speculated on radio that the board might have pulled the book because of the details about Jones's private life.

"… is it that Jonestown alleges that Alan Jones is gay or has had gay relationships? As I understand it, and I've not read the book, I believe it details a number of gay sexual encounters Jones was allegedly involved in."

Oh hell no. Hasn't the gay community suffered enough? Surely it wouldn't be too much to ask Middle Australia to take him back..

On a slightly more serious note, why is it such a scurrilous allegation that Keith Windschuttle may have had something to do with this? Surely he's on the ABC board to do *something* and this action would be consistent with previous sentiments he has expressed. Are we really supposed to believe that his previous politics combined with a position of some power will have zero practical output? If i was the Right i'd be asking for a refund.

Comodogenic at 1:26 pm

ev: Sick on a Friday? What are the odds?

cvm: I think you need a slightly straighter face to say that one. I'd try Bert Newtons.

ev: Is the man even capable of facial movement anymore? Sorry Bert, the hitin the face with a frying pan look went out years ago

cvm: It's the Australian Botox. No creams over 'ere mate, just a whack in theface with mum's best pan.

ev: Love it. Oztox.

cvm: We could totally market Oztox, it could be made of the Liberal party; all blank stares and no flexibility.

Whatever it takes..

Oh Wasabi Pea
You are a pulse in unidentifiable yellow crunch
Many have laughed at your innocuous form
Many have paid the price for their arrogance as
The pain of a million tiny samurais invaded their nose.

You are a warrior in a land of legumes

Academic Fetish..

The wonderful "The Wrong Side of Capitalism" provides this wonderful report on Žižek’s wedding. It includes the following line:

"Apparently, Žižek got cold feet and fled just before the wedding. Luckily, his fiancé’s parents are lacanians, so they sent some heavies to make sure Žižek didn’t give up on his desire"

This makes me feel better abort my rather deformed SOH.

He also appears to be doing public lectures in the UK, in case one needed more encouragement to run away to Europe. I hear Ljubljana is nice this time of year..

Real news always happens elsewhere..

From the Gazet Van Antwerpen:

Een van de zilverkleurige pruiken die de Amerikaanse popart-kunstenaar Andy Warhol placht te dragen heeft donderdag op een veiling in New York 10.800 dollar (8.600 euro) opgebracht. Verwacht was dat de pruik tussen de 4.000 en 6.000 dollar zou opbrengen.
Twee door Warhol gemaakte polaroid-foto's, een van Muhammed Ali en een van Mick Jagger, gingen voor nog meer geld van de hand: respectievelijk 19.200 dollar en 15.600 dollar. De polaroid van Muhammed Ali is door Warhol ondertekend.
Een zwarte cocktailjurk die Marilyn Monroe droeg in de film The Misfits bracht 66.000 dollar op, een lange hermelijnen mantel die ze in 1957 droeg 50.400 dollar.


I'm not sure if it's funnier that the Dutch word for wig is "pruik" or that someone bought one of Warhol's old wigs for 10.8k. What on earth would one do with an old, ratty, Andy Warhol wig?

Shine on you crazy Democracy

(n.b. the following post contains unapologetic Howard bashing, if this is illegal where you live (sedition, i'm looking at you) please visit here)



The Federal Government's controversial electoral legislation has been passed by Parliament. The changes include closing the electoral roll earlier, banning prisoners from voting and increasing the threshold for disclosing donations. The legislation was opposed by all non-government parties.

cvm: Ooh, my favourite part was when they decided that 16 committees with Mixed chairs should be changed to ten with Coalition chairs. Evokes the most wonderful air of abuse of powers..

eurovladd: I love the smell of autocracy in the morning.

cvm: Oh and did you see the article which suggested that the government may have *gasp* won the election *gasp* based on the Tampa incident? I thought it was because they were all so charming.

eurovladd: *I* love how the government just doesn't even care anymore about pretending and just comes out and says "yeah, Tampa won us the election".

cvm: It's very "we're bad, and we're ok with that".. i think they've watched too much Dr Phil.

eurovladd: I look forward to the PM Press Release that's just "Dear Australia, Fuck you, Affectionately, Johnny H."

cvm: Didn't we get that one the first day after the last election? It may have been coded but i definitely read those promises to "not let the majority go to their heads" as a promise to stick it to each and every Australian.

eurovladd: I think the little turd had his fingers crossed behind his back.

sunburnt country vs. the rising sun

Two recent developments that are well overdue:

1. Australia does well in, and gets behind, a sport played by more than just our colonial brother and sisters
2. The word Kaiserslautern enters the Australian vocabulary.

Now if only people would start pronouncing Guus correctly. Surely the man deserves that much.

Specific Pollution..

After much pondering i have stumbled upon a solution to what appear to be the governments major woes: excise the ACT. It can then be our new dumping ground for refugees and gay couples who *gasp* want something resembling the rights that even Lleyton Hewitt posesses. As a capital city it's been remarkably unsuccessful if even our PM (widely aknowledged as one of the least interesting social specimens on the continent) won't live there.

The ACT: It's the people that John Howard rejects that make him the best.

Oh the tedious inevitability of it all

another rejection..

The split in the ranks of Australia's conservatives lends an air of the hypocritical to their earlier attacks on the Labor party's factionaldisputes (Party tricks bring Vaile home, 31st May). Perhaps they could agree that some dissent within their party as well as in society more generally can be a productive thing. Surely a political system which fosters debate and dialogue is the basis of a more robust democracy than one in which a false homogeneity is maintained?

spam

i've been receiving spam mail alarmingly frequently from "LongerHarderErectus". Perhaps they do realise i do not own my own male genitalia and in fact are advertising Homo Erectus?

Amazon thinks i'm a nerd

In the same way that TIVO is thought by many people to judge and categorise them, i've been finding that Amazon.com recommendation have taken on a spooky, semi-psychic level of accuracy. Today it suggeted Beckett's 'Waiting for Godot' just as i was thinking i should read more Beckett which got me thinking...

Personalization techniques have been adopted by many companies already both on and offline. Some of the ways in which this information is gathered provides fodder for the TodayTonight crew with their sensationalist "they'll spy on you to see if you have a dog and then sell that information to pet-food manufacturers" (of course i think that we should be concerned about civil liberties but i'm not sure whether Big Brother ultimately cares as much about my domestic animal ownership as my political affiliations) but the Amazon method of checking your wishlist/purchases and library for some reason doesn't give me this feeling. Instead i feel flattered when it recommends Bataille, fascinated when it deduces that i will probably enjoy Lacan and warmly amused when it recommends the latest Get Fuzzy compendium.

I have heard that this does not work so well for other people, a good friend received many freakily accurate suggestions of obscure Scandinavian literature before Amazon started recommending powertools. I think it wanted him to branch out. Am looking forward to the day when Amazon realises the disproportionate amount of depressing modernist literature on mine and deduces that i need Prozac. Or perhaps some form of weaponry.

On leaving people to die on mountains..

eurovladd
9:02 AM

And not that I give a shit either way but there seem to be a lot of peoplewho weren't at the top of Everest who seem to think they knew the exact specificities of the event


cvm
9:17 AM

Is a tricky one.. Seems a little bizarre they could still make it to the top but couldn't help him down. And frankly anything that encourages respect and mutual obligation rather than just stupid competitiveness gets my vote.

Must be all those years of gender studies...


eurovladd
9:23 AM

Am with you on that. But I think it is very hard for people who weren'tthere experiencing the conditions etc to be able to make the call as towhether or not you could do something from 8800km below is all.

But yes, is a bit odd.

cvm
9:25 AM

If i was a cultural studies person i'd say that it was still important to be able to talk about the potential ethical demands of a situation based on themost accurate information on has available regardless of our direct accessor not to those conditions.

Just as well i recovered from that..


eurovladd
9:32 AM

True. But there will always be a disjuncture between the ethics of atheoretical situation and the lived experience of those in the corresponding"real" situation.

"EXTERNAL REFERENT TO AISLE FOUR!!"


Sorry. What just happened?

"Business is business" ~ David Luca

If ever anyone says to you that there's nothing inherently wrong with asystem where "value" is code for "dollar value" think of Mr. Lucas here (a farmer from the UK) who sells gallows to African nations such as Zimbabwe. I'm not convinced by the Liberal Party's argument that somekind of laissez-faire market-regulated system will ensure this, history shows that ethics arenot necessarily going to be particularly financially lucrative (rememberthat Swiss stockpiling of Nazi loot par example?).

Perhaps increasing age is actually more likely to make me a socialist.. Very strange.

Wheat with the properties of velcro..

Someone asked me yesterday what "fibre" is. i.e. the dietary fibre that we're always being exhorted to consume more of to prevent gremlins growing in our bowels, or some such. My answer was something about undigestible parts of food which served as a kind of manual broom through the guts (sorry, this is getting a little puerile). I kind of made this up.. it's probably vaguely true though.

The question then is: is anything undigestible high in fibre? Assuming the answer here is yes we could then place cement in the same category as bran which many would argue is long overdue.

The current Sydney flu: Imagined previously by Douglas Adams

"It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water."

May is a charm

Many in the current government refuse to acknowledge the existence ofclimate change until it comes time to argue for uranium mining and nuclearpower plants. These same people then reverse energy saving targets on newhomes that had been designed to tackle climate change ("Cheaper, not so green homes" 2nd May). Surely it's time to move beyond merely 'convenient' environmental policy to a broader vision consistent with not just itself but the kind of future that we can survive in.

Aprils pitiful little rejects...

Tony Abbott’s opinion piece in yesterdays SMH (Balance gets the wobbles in lofty stacks, 12th April) seems another indication of an already disturbing trend towards allowing politicians to use the pages of our national newspapers as spaces for Party Political advertising thinly veiled as comment. Surely the political mix of the Heralds’ own commentators should be enough to give us a broad range of political arguments and perspectives without having to replace journalists or columnists with Liberal or Labor party hacks. If the Herald is going to continue this trend, perhaps we could have a separate page on which State, National and International politicians can have their say away from the democratic spaces of the letters and comments pages?


It is argued that one of the signs of a robust democracy is the ability to tolerate and benefit from dissent. Indonesia’s treatment of the Papuans is a clear denial of their right to disagree with, and agitate for change of, their government. It is interesting to note that Australia granted the Papuans protection visas based on claims of persecution by their government for speaking out. Meanwhile our own government attempts to curtail dissent in Australia through sedition laws and criticism of those who speak out against the Pacific solution policy. It’s not just Jakarta who should be asking for an apology; the blatant double standards here mean that the Indonesians, Papuans and the Australian public all deserve a long and sincere apology (“Jakarta: say sorry or no ambassador”, April 19th). Preferably followed by a resignation.


Recognizing the evils that have been perpetrated by our forbears does not inherently demand that we think of Australia society as anything but “relatively benign and tolerant” (Truce, and truth, in history wars, April 20th). On the contrary, an understanding of the history of dispossession and disenfranchisement experienced by Australia’s indigenous population can help us to understand how we as a society have changed and how much action is still necessary to ensure that Indigenous Australians are never again treated like second class citizens. The view shared by Ms Devine and Mr Windschuttle that our society would be crippled by such admissions misrepresents the general public of Australia who on the whole recognize that it is possible and often productive to recognize a shameful history and it’s resonance with other historical events like the Holocaust to ensure that we can with some confidence say “never again”.

Winning them over...

It is tragic to read the stories of young Australians who have been the victims of work-place accidents (Young sacrificed at work, 24th April). One wonders how many more risks young people will face under the new Industrial Relations laws which make it even harder for workers to resist unsafe work practices without being exposed to potential redundancy. Calling these events accidents obscures the responsibility borne by both employers and the government to protect all workers.

minor success (and small hullabaloo)

It appears our shiny new tourism campaign isn't going ahead in Japan, either ("Too bloody hard to teach Japan to swear", March 28). After all this hullabaloo could someone clarify exactly who, except for Australians, this ad is designed to target? It seems like a lot of money to be spending if its only effect is on some of our bloody expats.

Claudia Marckx Chippendale

the fallen, the pitiful and the generally unsuccessful.

Rejected letters of this week:


21st February
If David Irving is finally being charged with Holocaust denial perhaps we could examine how these laws do not damage our rights to free speech (Irving to plead guilty to Holocaust denial charge, 21st Feb)? If sensitivity about the Holocaust is legally mandated in European law surely it is not that much of a stretch to extend these laws to other groups and thus engender a respect for their religious beliefs. Or are Muslims right when they assert that they are consistently treated differently?

22nd February
University level science students who believe in the rather un-scientific doctrine of creationism? (Bible-quoting science students on the rise, 22nd Feb) What’s next; Communist economics students? Anarchist Law students? Modernist architecture students? Or heaven forbid, Liberal voting humanities students? These faculties all operate around certain fundamental, necessary assumptions about how to view the world. It is certainly important that disciplines are open to questioning but the dogmatism which characterizes many of the so-called “scientific creationists” is anything but scientific or critical.

24th February
Mr Costello certainly is onto something with the idea of stripping violent Muslims of Australian citizenship (“Costello to violent Muslims: get out” February 24). Why stop there though, we should be able to extend this even further and repatriate any unsavoury, Un-Australian characters to their country of origin. This plan would also have the added advantage of freeing up our prisons, cleaning up our streets and opening a lot of space in Federal parliament.

coffee and cogent political commentary? i think not.

Kim 17/02/2006 1:03 PM
on futile mission to get letter in, today's contribution to smh currently looks like this, am attempting to write about something other than abortion. No really: One wonders if Mr Abbott has considered the possibility of funding counseling and education programs before unwanted pregnancies. It mightnot fit as well with the knee-jerk Catholicism he has thus far espoused but treating the cause rather than the symptom would surely spare muchunnecessary heartbreak. Condoms and other forms of contraception arealso cheaper (and much less of a drain on Medicare and Centrelink) than both abortion and unwanted children. Or are we that desperate to increase our (White) population that we’ll convince women to keep children that they may not want or be capable of supporting? I would like to propose Harriet Veitch as next candidate for Health Minister, I’m sure that I’m not alone on this.

Cam 17/02/2006 1:09 PM
fabulous.

Kim 17/02/2006 1:10 PM
did you read the "elephant rage" article? i think that calls for aresponse also.

Cam 17/02/2006 1:15 PM
I think appropriate response to elephant rage article is to obtain one and set it up as door bitch at next house party.

Kim 17/02/2006 1:17 PM
i wish i could share with you the mental picture i just had. Elephants in clothes are so funny.

Cam 17/02/2006 1:21 PM
it would be the most hilarious party accessory since Rich Uncle Skeleton and his smoking jacket & pipe. Possibly not fitting on balcony without significant home renovation but good excuse to get jamie durie in and lock him in josh's boudoir.

Career Options

kym:
one never knows which of one's skills might result in the survival of the species. my legendary ability to deepfry anything might one day be our only way to fight back against alien invaders...

cam:
you could just deep fry the invaders.

am so going to start putting things like that on resumes. "Sure, anyone can use FileMaker, but how many other candidates can apply eyeliner in a moving vehicle while holding the back of a cd as a mirror?"

Instant employment.


kym:
i think my ability to drink a lot of both booze and coffee and survive on relatively little sleep whilst creating many different looks all from one small bag would get me a job as....

as a spy.

cam:
just think of all the items you could included under the budget line
"Disguises — Hats".

Big Picture

Just as i had begun to worry about mortality and the aging process comes news that the speed of light may in fact not be constant. Fabulous.

And i love that one of the world's biggest, most technologically advanced telescopes is the

"Very Large Telescope"

in Chile.
Very Monty Python.

feminism? the revival.

After a few years of wondering if the whole feminist thing had become a bit of a self-indulgent romp i have been pleasantly surprised by a few recent victories. Although a recent study in the guardian speculated that it would take women another 40 years to break into the FTSE 100 we have Norway instituting a 2 year deadline by which time 40% of the seats of each company listed on the Oslo bourse must be occupied by women.

As much as they are not neccesarily of my personal political pursuasion it is also somewhat heartening that Angela Merkel (Germany) and Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf (Liberia) have taken up the highest political offices in their respective countries. It is however the election of Michelle Bachelet as the first female president of Chile that is making me smile today. The overall Left-ward swing in South America has on the whole been characterised by quite masculinist politics and it is wonderful to see that it is possible to look beyond this.

Now i know the UK had Mags and the USA will probably have Clinton Mark 2 or Condi (since Laura Bush has been tipping her recently) but c'mon Australia what's it going to take for this to even begin to look possible? (ALP i'm looking at you..) I would like to propose my own candidates if the party political folks can't get around to it.

Mary Kostakidis
Marie Bashir
Lee Lin Chin
Clover Moore (sorry, but i would)
Dorothy Porter
Judy Davis
Pat O'Shane
Tracy Moffat

just for starters.

Michelle Bachelet

A socialist, pediatrician, agnostic, single mother for President?
Chile, the world could learn a lot from you.

Torture by any other name

I am currently taking inspiration (and maintaing my subscription to the SMH) from today's article by Salman Rushdie about the murder of language and truth in this latest war. "extraordinary rendition" is perhaps one of the ugliest and most frightening examples of the power of renaming.

Let us reclaim our favourite words early on this year to save them from this. If i catch the us govt messing with these words i will, as a dear friend says, sedition their arses.

My Claims are:

Hirsute ~ mainly because i remember it because it kind of sounds like hair suit. It is also quite a regal word.

Acquiesce ~ a word which is performed through merely saying it. (aka Byron's Don Juan "and still she strove and much repented and whispering 'i'll ne'er consent', consented")

Words, words, words says Hamlet. R & G say they're all we have to go on. They are also the last line of defense, the congruence between the unthinkable and the unpronouncable and pure gibberish nonsense is closer than we might have thought.

ps. When did the phrase “my favourite artists…” Allow for the insertion of names like Madonna and Delta Goodrem instead of Klee, Modigliani, Magritte, Kahlo? Taking this one back also.

somewhere between pastiche and pesto

Ever been worried that you were becoming a caricature of yourself?
The fridge in my house currently contains the following:

Capers (3 bottles tiny capers packed in salt)
Béarnaise Sauce
Hollandaise Sauce
Artichoke Hearts
Marinated capsicum strips
Marinated, char grilled eggplant strips
Anchovies (2 bottles)
Wholegrain mustard (2 kinds)
Dijon Mustard (3 kinds)
Hot American Mustard
Heinz Ketchup (2 bottles)
Mayonnaise
Lemon Mayonnaise
Dijonnaise
Native Australian bush tomato ketchup
Caesar salad dressing (regular and fat free)

Green Chili Jam
Home-made plum compote
Red Miso Paste
Palm Sugar
Ghee
Wasabi Noodle Sauce
Japanese sesame dressing
Sambal Oelek (2 kinds)
Wasabi Paste
Tomato Chutney
XO Sauce
Katsu sauce
Fish Roe (black)
Crushed chili
Sashimi soy sauce
Shiraz Vinegar
Crushed Ginger

All natural peanut butter
Vegemite
Marmite
Promite
Sour cherry jam
Mixed berry jam
Sugar free blackberry jam
Golden syrup
Honey (stringy bark)
Coconut Jam (for Kaya toast)


It is entirely possible that we have become the hyper-bourgeoisie: the only class possible only in the post-modern age.

Do these people ever give up?

It seems that riding high on the 'success' of the Cronulla 'rally' Australia's favourite 'patriots' want to re-register their political 'party' Australia First.

Witness this beautiful line in todays SMH:

"What's being done in Australia now is a situation where the European identity is being deprecated further, to the point where Europeans will disappear next century... Under certain circumstances that would be called a genocide, but it's not, it's called progress."

from the party's NSW secretary, Jim Saleam.

Genocide? Check wiki dude, "The term genocide was made up by Raphael Lemkin, a Polish Jew, in 1944, from the roots genos (Greek for family, tribe or race) and -cide (Latin - occidere, to kill)"

Europeans might not end up being the dominant group in Australia 'culturally' but i'm pretty sure they're not being murdered on any kind of mass scale as part of an ethnic cleansing policy. If i remember my primary school history, we (the euro-trash) are the ones who kinda did that here. And i'm pretty sure Europeans won't dissapear next century unless Europe itself falls into a freak continental rift...

If these ridiculous fools do succeed in contesting any seats i for one will be there in my sound-of-music finest.