Huzzah!

Salient political commentary

From Toothpaste for Dinner:

The little dictator who could

It seems no small irony that it is Kim Jong-Il who looks set to be the only member of the axis of evil who is not directly in the crosshairs of Uncle Sam.

- Iraq cooperated with weapons inspections to a reasonable* extent and despite the reports of
Hans Blix and others saying that their weapons program had been dismantled was still attacked due to it's possession of WMDS. Which were never found.

- Iran's president has been reasonably up-front about the state of their weapons program announcing loudly that yes, they were enriching uranium but no, they had no bombs. American spies have now come through with the shocking discovery that this was true. The US government response, rather counter-intuitively perhaps, is to essentially threaten military action just to make sure.

- In North Korea lil' Kim sends a couple of ICBMs flying over Japan, taunts the USA with the delivery systems it is designing for it's nukes. He's only one step from hosting his own Hello! world exclusive in one of the factories where he gently and fondly pats the bombs whilst extolling their weight, uranium content and possible destinations. He then offers to stop his program if sanctions are lifted and he can sit at the table with the big boys. And it works.

HE IS CLEARLY A GENIUS.





* No they didn't make it easy. But then again, when so much of the rest of the world (France, USA, Israel etc) is 'allowed' to have nukes it's rather impressive that they capitulated at all.

Erection dissection

After a rather sensational drubbing on the weekend the Liberals are mid finger-pointing and re-branding already...

The Blame Game

Unfortunately this game is one pioneered by many brave souls who are now on their way out of parliament and most fingers are pointed towards the little chap who stayed at the party even though the other guests were starting the washing up in their jammies. To be fair this was probably a big factor in Bennelong, but from what I saw in Wentworth and other seats the "brand" the Libs were campaigning on was their local candidate rather than JWH.

There is some indication by Liberal supporters that people got "relaxed and comfortable" (sounds familiar?) and started taking the economy for granted. I'd love to say this is the case but I think Rudd's economic conservative mantra did in fact comfort a lot of people who then wanted to know what *else* politics had to offer except economic policy - to do the ALPies credit on this the answer involved: health, education and environment - not a bad trio. I personally suspect that there has been somewhat of a realisation of the fact that the "resources boom" actually has little to do with the Howard government but was attributable to a complex mix of geography and market forces - as far as economic management goes selling coal when pretty much everyone in the world wants it isn't exactly the equivalent of sub-zero water to Inuits.


The New Opposition:

With the Liberal opposition candidates dropping like flies I was slightly concerned that these incredible predictions were coming before their time. Now it seems they've stopped hiding behind each other and hat and gauntlet throwing is the order to the day.

Brendan Nelson is an unusual decision to say the least - a good argument about why the irrational beast of "caucus numbers" should probably be tamed. His merits as a contender have been admirably covered by another blogger far wittier than myself:
The third contender is outgoing Defence Minister Brendan Nelson, who used to be a member of the Labor Party, used to be president of the Australian Medical Association, and used to wear an earring. None of these things apply today, and in the current leadership tussle his main attributes would appear to be his unbelievably monotonous voice and his resemblance to the dad from Thunderbirds. Although history is against him as nobody has won an election by convincing the voters that he is a heroic marionette since Andrew Fisher in 1910.

Julie Bishop scares the bejeezus out of me and I'm a little nervous of saying anything negative about her as I'm sure that given she doesn't blink she can see the whole world. Julie, you're better than Bronwyn...

Alas, the combinations we might have had:

Bronwyn Bishop/Tony Abbott : The beehive & the mad-monk - they could be a postmodern folk-electro outfit
Alexander Downer/Alex Hawke: One in fishnets the other a nutty hard Righter brought together by the party they love and both being called Alex

I could go on but I'd best not.

xx

We've only just begun...

Not only does our potential to engage in, talk about and direct politics not end with our vote but I have a cunning plan:

Kevin 07
Kevin 11
Maxine 15
and then the glory years of a Bob Brown Green Government.

Pass it on...

Oh, and others seem to agree with this trajectory here.
Overly optimistic? Probably. But god, it's a damn sight better than how I've felt for the last 11 years.

Existentialism in the tropics

The Singaporean government is seemingly determined that it's citizens develop on all levels. Look at this for example:


It is posted at MRT stations, presumably to help travellers ponder life's imponderables as they wait for their train. It worked for me.

This is not a food blog

Many other bloggers (especially the talented and beautiful trixie) are able to wax lyrical about food in the most edible and attractive ways, I on the other hand am very very good at eating but take rather lacklustre photos of what is on my plate and have my mouth too full to talk about it. Still:



This was one of the best things I have ever put in my mouth. It is from Madame Saigon in Singapore and is billed on the menu as grilled eggplant with black glutinous rice. Some heavenly alchemy must have occurred here however as there is no way those 2 ingredients form the smoky, sweet, unctuous chopstick loads that I savoured, the addition of mint, fried onion and thai basil made it almost too much. I have a standing offer of marriage to anyone who can teach me how to make this.

Le 80s Wheels Fest

The French indulged today in one of their favourite pastimes: a strike. Well, that's not entirely accurate; the metro staff had a strike (struck?) and the rest of the population walked to work pretending that it was a pain to be out in the light early Autumn breeze with the sun gently blazing and lighting up all the Haussmann buildings and the over-prevalent architectural wonders with that magnificent Parisian glow.

But not everyone walked, I was passed by more than 5 men in business suits roller blading. There were also 2 roller-skating. In the absence of public transport this was apparently the logical alternative, tremendous!

French police also indulge:

Wash colours seperately

The seeming inability of the Belgian political parties to actually form a coalition government is of slight concern it must be admitted. For all their differences I'm inclined to wonder why they don't just form a "Not Vlaams Belang" group.

Not just because they are parochial xenophobes ranting about a non-existent pure Flemish race and language but because they can't help but being Belgian on their posters and printing them in Flemish *and* French. One wonders why they haven't included German on there as well.

Unfeminism

I know women politicians often get judged on their appearances much more than their male counterparts. I know this is sexist/wrong/unfair and so on.

But seriously, People of Ukraine, how can you keep voting for this hair?


What a marvellous specimen Ioulia Timochenko is.

Unusual hobbies..

"So, what did you do on your vacation to Paris?"
"Oh the usual, took photos of every Van Gogh painting at the Musee d'Orsay"






I think it must be either:
1. A very tricky high tech counterfeiting ring
or
2. Preparation for the worlds longest "My vacation in Paris" slideshow.

(Then again, I'm one to talk; I take photos of tourists)

Loud exclamation of joy!

Certain people within my life have a tendency to overuse particular words. I myself confess to an overuse of "meanwhile". Others overuse words as diverse as "blah blah", "dommage" and the ever charming "neat" (you know who you are). As endearing as these might be, it is the use by a certain young man of my acquaintance of "huzzah" and other such archaic exclamations that most tickles my fancy.

Here is another place, and in a similar spirit, this word is used:

Book III. (Duodecimo), chapter 1. (Huzza Porpoise).—This is the common porpoise found almost all over the globe. The name is of my own bestowal; for there are more than one sort of porpoises, and something must be done to distinguish them. I call him thus, because he always swims in hilarious shoals, which upon the broad sea keep tossing themselves to heaven like caps in a Fourth-of-July crowd. Their appearance is generally hailed with delight by the mariner. Full of fine spirits, they invariably come from the breezy billows to windward. They are the lads that always live before the wind. They are accounted a lucky omen. If you yourself can withstand three cheers at beholding these vivacious fish, then heaven help ye; the spirit of godly gamesomeness is not in ye. A well-fed, plump Huzza Porpoise will yield you one good gallon of good oil. But the fine and delicate fluid extracted from his jaws is exceedingly valuable. It is in request among jewellers and watchmakers. Sailors put it on their hones. Porpoise meat is good eating, you know. It may never have occurred to you that a porpoise spouts. Indeed, his spout is so small that it is not very readily discernible. But the next time you have a chance, watch him; and you will then see the great Sperm whale himself in miniature.

From: Moby Dick - Herman Melville

Best Etymology Ever

"Vaudeville"
From French vaudeville, from Old French vaudevire, a shorteningof chanson du Vau de Vire (song of the Valley of Vire), from Vire, a valley of Calvados, Normandy in France where satirical folk songs were composed by Olivier Basselin in the fifteenth century

Relationships

Sometimes the world tries to tell you that your union is not a good idea. These people at Cimetière Monparnasse did not listen:

Putting the P in PCF etc,

Day 2 of the Communist Party to end all communist parties looked a little like this:

These are the communists from my hood in Paris. I quite like the jogging Eiffel Tower on their logo, tres revolutionary. It's perhaps only a minor fact that the Eiffel Tower is not actually in the 13eme.



Artisinal glass blowing is inherently radical as it involves reclaiming the means of production. At least I assume that was what this was about - the man providing the running commentary had one of those regional French accents that sounds like being halfway through swallowing a large piece of sausage.




And finally the obligatory rag tag selection of nutcases playing the Internationale. Note that I actually managed to also capture a man in a beret in the shot. Authenticity oh yes.

Communist Party Parties

Some great moments at the Fête de l’Humanité:


For those who grew up reading Asterix the word 'menhir' never fails to provoke a chuckle:



This little boy was sitting on his father's shoulders clutching his racing car balloon and gggling at Iggy Pop when he came on stage and said "nous sommes les fucking Stooges". French children are definitely the bomb. Alas I have no photos of the tiny Communist children running around in their berets and Che t-shirts.





There's something rather marvellous about all of the PCF (Parti Communiste Français) tents. Each of them have a bar generally serving whatever the local liquid specialty is, a restaurant or food counter selling anything from grilled andouillette to local oysters to paella made in giant paella pans to foie gras to wild boar salami and so on through all of the regional specialties of France. It's partially this regional flavour that makes the whole affair feel so dynamic and alive but it's also the defeat of the left in the last election that seems to have shaken them all up a bit.. should be interesting to see what happens from here.

And I love this slogan:



Politics can be beautiful. I like that.

LolKu

You questioned my claim
That lolcats were rather complex
I gots ur buckit




Evidence:
im in ur programz, codin in ur dialect: LOLCode and Feline Dialectology
LOL Lexicography
Lolcode
Irish Gaelic LolCait

Please also note:

Things that make me happy #1

Oeuf-Mayonnaise: One of lifes great pleasures

Duh

The NSW Liberal George Souris says: "NSW is not Paris" and this is why licensing laws should not change.

Thankfully the divine Ms Clover Moore knows that we can aspire to something.. ;)

Who would you choose to run the country?

I thought the ALPs had conquered cool in politics with the preselection Peter Garrett. He is rather dapper and certainly has enough lefty cred to sometimes satisfy me..

But Russia has lifted the Iron Curtain to reveal the smouldering eyes and penchant for checks of the Elvis of Chess.

They're both well suited to politics in their very different ways but I bet Kasparov would scare the bejeezus out of whoever he was sitting across from in parliament..

He could be thinking about anything with that steel-trap mind. He's probably even friends with Uri Geller.

More power to him.

For the record

Since it seems the done thing at the moment I should like to inform the Australian population that I have not been to a strip club. Although I wouldn't mind changing this..

And *bless* Bob Brown again:

"Four years ago, Kevin Rudd got drunk and took himself into a strip club," Senator Brown said.
"Four years ago, John Howard, sober, took Australia into the Iraq war. I think the electorate can judge which one did the more harm," he said.

The man gets my vote and my knickers thrown at the podium.

Tainting the broth

The gay community can do without Alan Jones.
The red-heads of Australia can do without Pauline Hanson.
The Australian population could do without Olivia Newton-John.

Discuss.

I Claudia

Am now here on I can't believe it's not Friendster.

I also hereby submit notice that my autobiography shall hilariously be called: I Claudia.

xx

Couldn't Resist

Unfortunately I have copped a lethal dose of StalkBook and have neglected my political ranting (online at least - still going at it in bars of the world with the rest of them). However.. God Gerard Henderson is an irksome little wart!

I do love this part of this article though:

"During the initial hearing before the Federal Court on July 18, Justice Jeffrey Spender effectively ridiculed the Crown's case. He maintained that he, too, would fail such a character test because he has "been associated with persons suspected of criminal conduct". The implication of Spender's comment is that there is no difference between the judges or barristers who, as part of their profession, have associated with individuals suspected of criminal conduct"

Lets get this clear; lawyers and their ilk DO interact with people who have engaged in criminal conduct. That's their job. You've got to worry a little about people who choose this as a profesion don't you? That aside, surely we've all at some time been associated with individuals suspected of criminal conduct in one way or another.. sure there's a big difference between fare evasion or a little spliff and terrorism but the logic is the same. How far does our culpability extend?

Cant update from here. Keyboards are whack. All in wrong place. xx

Cast the first stone..

I'm sure that i'm not the only feminist who squirms a little when the topic of Islam's treatment of women is raised. Not in a kind of cultural relativism we-can't-criticize-because-that-would-be-racist way but mainly because it seems to me that on questions of Islamic oppression of women, feminists end up with some rather unsavoury neo-con bedfellows.

After many rather heated debates over the last few weeks i found this article on Ayaan Hirsi Ali which is exactly what i've been trying to express but have not managed to do so quite succinctly. I had also never realized that this woman who is so against asylum seekers especially if they are found to have fudged any of the details of their claim fudged her own asylum application for the Netherlands.

The idea of a monolithic religion and culture seems so far removed from what i have heard about Islamic culture that it seems to make as much sense to equate the Taliban's treatment of women with that of Islam generally as it makes to equate the treatment of women by the Bulldogs as representative of all Australian attitudes. A monolithic view of Islam thus ends up propogating the arguments of the fundamentalists within the religion and not respecting the fact that many muslims are more progressive and are working to change and challenge their religion.
It's more than a little condescending to suggest to these people that they are so oppressed that they just don't know any better.

Considering how recent many developments in gender and racial equality are in western countries it's a little rich to suggest we have the monopoly on non-opressive social relations. Frankly, many of the conservatives who criticize Islam for its treatment of women have not made a peep about inequalities within their own societies and instead seem to spend an inordinate time calling uppity women "femonazis".

It is amazing how Ali has fought back against some of the more insidious parts of Islam and feminism can do with more outspoken and fearless advocates even if we do end up disagreeing with some of their conclusions..

A ticket a tusket

I love this story from the SMH about an elephant demanding road-toll in bananas and vegetables from motorists in India. It seems so wonderfully organised.

The elephant is referred to the article as "the Tusker". Makes him sound like an elephantine superhero...

I'm just waiting for my lycra people..

The headline you always wanted to write

Copy editors wait for years for this kind of opportunity:

"Bride search success for Google co-founder"

Hilarious.

Clash of cultures

I normally find most NineMSN most painful because of those insidious little opinion polls which you are faced with after logging out from hotmail.
Eg:
Do you think the Australian government is killing Iraqis for their own good? Yes No
Yes 25397 Votes
No 412 Votes

But today it got even better.

I present: Luxor Mahjong for your delectation and cultural collage purposes.














Cleopatra would not have approved.
And then she would have enjoyed some sushi chased down with a bud light.

Actually existing socialism

K.Rudd has nothing on the worker-related photo opps that Wen Jiabao pulls... This is just bewdiful:













And after raiding their lunchboxes, he pitches in to help:















Kissing babies is for pussies.

Snip snip.

I have not until this day felt such a passionate urge to Bobbit someone as when i read this interview with the lovely Bill Heffernan. It's a roller coaster of nasty things and dirty thoughts.

Firstly, to suggest that Julia Gillard is not fit for leadership because of her "deliberately barren'' state is utterly offensive and unworthy even of the Liberal party. The idea that even after years of feminism someone could still assert that women can't really fit in or be effective unless they have children is almost unbelievable. If it's all about understanding family, then surely the fact that we play parts in our own families (as sister, aunt, daughter, mother etc) gives us the experience that would be neccesary to fulfil this criteria. Really though, even this kind of supposition is ridiculous, it's not like women need children to make them more empathic or more able to take the human angle into account, we've pretty much got the monopoly on that one fellas.

Bills explanation is as stomach turning as it is incompreensible: "One of the great understandings in a community is family, and the relationship between mum, dad and a bucket of nappies." Is it particularly the fecal matter of children that bonds communities or could we substitute other animals i wonder?

Reasons Julia might need sprogs to lead the ALP:
1. Practice "time-outs" for when parliament gets too rowdy
2. Possible introduction of "naughty seat" technique
3. Developement of go-to-your-room arms (the ones that wobble for a little after the arm has been stretched out)
4. To learn the importance of wet-wipes (would have stood Bill CLinton in good stead after all)
5. So they can go to private schools and fool around with kids of the Liberal party hacks

and so it goes.

Time Machine

The Business Council of Australia warned, "You cannot support productivity growth in the 21st century while turning back the clock to a 1990s or 1980s workplace relations system." (West Australian 18/4/07)

Instead we propose going back to the early industrial revolution era before minimum hour weeks and penalty wages...

Just like fashion, politics has it's own retro movements, the nostalgic nod back to Whitlam or Keating. The fond recollections of Menzies and Joh. Just like fashion it will also continue to keep reviving moments from it's past sometimes because they are classics (the LBD/enterprise bargaining), because they are reminiscent of a more wholesome era (twin sets & pearls/hardcore censorship laws) or because they appeal to the elites (Haute couture/tax breaks for bussiness). Everyone's got to heark back to some era, i'll take the 80s and 90s ideas of workers rights and Salt n' Pepa over the alternative proposal of economic policies from the 19th Century and social mores from the 1950s.

The miracle of the VPL

Weasel: About John Paul II's possible miracles to qualify for sainthood (from smh): "a number of inexplicable recoveries from cancer as well as "miraculous pregnancies" were among the potential miracles reviewed"

I believe there's another way of describing 'miraculous pregnancies'..

CVM: What about the miracle of the church causing more war, assisting the spread of HIV and only really being a bunch of nancies poncing about in dresses and wearing ridiculously large hats?

Now that is a miracle.

Weasel: "In world news today, John Paul II was canonised for the miracle of being taken seriously while wearing drag and a big hat and being considered a humanitarian whilst being responsible for the deaths of millions... the canonisation of Pope Benedict now looks assured, as > his ascendancy to papal office itself after being a member of hitler youth is widely considered a miracle"

"Miracles by the dozen" - I love it.

Reasons to keep that subscription..

As a symptom of a not misspent enough youth i find myself a proud and sometimes confused member of P.Ruddy's press release email list. Most of the time it's this or that judge being appointed here or there but every-so-often the full text from one of his doorstop interviews is uploaded. We all already know that he has all the personal charm and charisma of a McDonalds Chicken McNugget but reading his thoughts about why other people can't get married is particularly hearwarming.

First he identifies a problem with the ACT civil union legislation:

The first is that it involves a formal ceremony. If you're having partnership agreements and you're registering them you don't have to have a formal ceremony which is marriage-like with a celebrant. I note that they're not requiring marriage celebrants to do it but they can do it and it provides for registration of other celebrants.

No ceremony? Sheesh, as if anyone could do the pomp and ceremony like the gay community, remember Elton John dressed as Marie Antoinette and extrapolate.

Then he dodges a question by talking to gay relationships on all fours:

Ross Solly:
Do you believe that a same-sex couple can have the same level of love for one another as a couple in a heterosexual relationship?

Attorney-General:
Well our principal concern is to - and I'm not being judgmental about relationships - our principal concern is to where we can to remove discrimination and we're seeking to do that. We don't think putting those relationships on all fours with marriage is the appropriate direction to go.

Then he tells us how he deals with his own gay friends:

Look, I understand that people can have longstanding relationships and the relationships between them are very strong and I'm not judgmental about those matters, but I don't expect them to be entering into marriages.

I pity his speech writer. Those politics and that level of charisma kill words from 50 paces.

Carbon Dating

For all those people who claim there's no point Australia doing anything about Kyoto or the environment more generally because India and China will still be polluting, consider the following from the Guardian:

"the average US carbon footprint is 19,800kg, while the impact on climate of the average Aussie is 18,000kg. Developing countries are far more sustainable: the average Chinese carbon footprint is 3,200kg, while the average Indian emits 1,200kg. Indeed, a good rule of thumb is that the poorer a person is, the less they emit - not a good omen in a world where everybody wants to be middle class. The average Tanzanian is highly sustainable, with a mere 100kg of carbon emissions per year, but it is unlikely that they are happy with this situation."

And for all those people who watched the Al Gore film and didn't change to Green Energy it's really easy, just call your energy company and ask them what they offer...

As for carbon dating, I think this might be a new fad we can start on RSVP and gay.com , advertise your carbon footprint as a way to impress?

Who knew?

It appear hancuffs are illegal.

And maces too.

It's so hard to have fun nowadays...